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Glory · The Holy Spirit
Grieving the Spirit is the believer's sin that wounds the Holy Spirit within them, often through unkind words and ungodly conduct. Resisting the Spirit is the opposition of unbelief, a will set against His work pointing to Christ. Quenching the Spirit is smothering His work in the church. The first is the failure of those who belong to God; the latter two are the push-back of those who do not yet yield, and the way forward for any of them is repentance and walking by the Spirit.
https://glorystudy.com/questions/what-is-the-difference-between-resisting-and-grieving-the-spirit · Scripture quoted from the World English Bible
Ephesians 4:25-32
As you read: The command sits among warnings about our words and how we treat one another; watch the whole context.
25Therefore putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor. For we are members of one another.
26“Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath,
27neither give place to the devil.
28Let him who stole steal no more; but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing that is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need.
29Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.
30Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
31Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice.
32And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
Acts 7:51-60
As you read: Stephen's charge to those who opposed God's messengers: what resisting the Spirit looks like.
51“You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit! As your fathers did, so you do.
52Which of the prophets didn’t your fathers persecute? They killed those who foretold the coming of the Righteous One, of whom you have now become betrayers and murderers.
53You received the law as it was ordained by angels, and didn’t keep it!”
54Now when they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth.
55But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, looked up steadfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,
56and said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!”
57But they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and rushed at him with one accord.
58They threw him out of the city, and stoned him. The witnesses placed their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul.
59They stoned Stephen as he called out, saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!”
60He kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, “Lord, don’t hold this sin against them!” When he had said this, he fell asleep.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-22
As you read: The command to not quench the Spirit, beside not despising prophecies and testing all things.
16Rejoice always.
17Pray without ceasing.
18In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you.
19Don’t quench the Spirit.
20Don’t despise prophesies.
21Test all things, and hold firmly that which is good.
22Abstain from every form of evil.
Isaiah 63:7-10
As you read: The Old Testament picture: God's people rebelled and grieved His holy Spirit.
7I will make mention of the loving kindnesses of Yahweh and the praises of Yahweh, according to all that Yahweh has bestowed on us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel, which he has bestowed on them according to his mercies, and according to the multitude of his loving kindnesses.
8For he said, “Surely, they are my people, children who will not deal falsely:” so he was their Savior.
9In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them: in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; and he bore them, and carried them all the days of old.
10But they rebelled, and grieved his holy Spirit: therefore he was turned to be their enemy, and he himself fought against them.
Paul's command is personal and pointed: 'Don't grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.' The word is the grief of a Person who loves you; you cannot grieve an impersonal force. Isaiah uses the same word of Israel: 'they rebelled, and grieved his holy Spirit.' Grieving assumes a relationship: the Spirit is near and has been sinned against, as when a friend is hurt by the one he loves.
“Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”Ephesians 4:30
“But they rebelled, and grieved his holy Spirit: therefore he was turned to be their enemy, and he himself fought against them.”Isaiah 63:10
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice.”Ephesians 4:31
Stephen's word to his accusers is blunt: 'You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit! As your fathers did, so you do.' To resist is to fight against the Spirit's testimony, to refuse the Christ He points to, to oppose Him from outside rather than grieve Him from within. John says the Spirit's work is to convict the world 'about sin, about righteousness, and about judgment'; resisting is hardening the heart against that conviction.
““You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit! As your fathers did, so you do.”Acts 7:51
“Which of the prophets didn’t your fathers persecute? They killed those who foretold the coming of the Righteous One, of whom you have now become betrayers and murderers.”Acts 7:52
“When he has come, he will convict the world about sin, about righteousness, and about judgment;”John 16:8
“We are His witnesses of these things; and so also is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.””Acts 5:32
Paul adds a third image in one short command: 'Don't quench the Spirit.' To quench is to put out a flame, to stifle and suppress. In the same breath Paul links it to the life of the gathered church: 'Don't despise prophesies. Test all things, and hold firmly that which is good.' Quenching happens when we smother the Spirit's gifts and His word among us out of fear, disorder, or lovelessness, when we put out the fire instead of fanning it.
“Don’t quench the Spirit.”1 Thessalonians 5:19
“Don’t despise prophesies. Test all things, and hold firmly that which is good.”1 Thessalonians 5:20-21
“Abstain from every form of evil.”1 Thessalonians 5:22
Grieve, resist, quench: one is the sorrow of a child who has hurt his Father, one is the defiance of an enemy, and one is the negligence of a church that banks the fire. Grieving is possible only for those who are sealed, who belong: believers wound the Spirit by their conduct and words. Resisting and quenching are the push-back of the world and of careless assemblies against the Spirit's work. The warning of grief calls believers to live worthy of the Spirit who lives in them.
“Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”Ephesians 4:30
““You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit! As your fathers did, so you do.”Acts 7:51
“Don’t quench the Spirit.”1 Thessalonians 5:19
“about sin, because they don’t believe in me;”John 16:9
None of these is the unpardonable sin; God's help is always for the one who returns. Paul follows the command with the path: put away bitterness and anger and slander, and 'be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.' And the way to stop grieving and quenching is to be filled and led: 'But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won't fulfill the lust of the flesh.' Grieve no more; walk in step with Him instead.
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.”Ephesians 4:31-32
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh.”Galatians 5:16
“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing.”1 Thessalonians 5:16-17
“If we live by the Spirit, let’s also walk by the Spirit.”Galatians 5:25