Does God require His servants to stay unmarried?
No. Scripture counts forbidding marriage a mark of departure from the faith, calls marriage honorable in every station, and treats married ministry as normal, with singleness a gift some receive for undivided devotion. Neither state is required, neither ranks above the other, and both are received with thanksgiving.
This question arose from studying What kind of authority did Jesus give church leaders? and What does a church need from its leaders?.
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Go into the Word
Not a summary of these passages: the passages themselves. Read them, then come back to the study below.
The study
What the Scripture says
A rule Scripture calls demonic
Paul warns that in later times some will fall away, giving heed to deceiving spirits, 'forbidding marriage,' among other ascetic inventions, and he adds God's verdict: everything created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving. Whatever else celibacy rules are, Scripture labels mandatory abstinence from marriage a doctrine contrary to the faith once delivered.
But the Spirit says expressly that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to seducing spirits and doctrines of demons, through the hypocrisy of men who speak lies, branded in their own conscience as with a hot iron; forbidding marriage and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
Yahweh God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
Married ministry was the norm
Paul assumes the apostles traveled with their wives, 'the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas,' and defends his own freedom to do likewise. Peter, the married fisherman whose mother-in-law Jesus healed, led the early church from a household, and an overseer's fitness was measured partly at home: ruling well his own house first.
Have we no right to take along a wife who is a believer, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw his wife’s mother lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand, and the fever left her. She got up and served him.
one who rules his own house well, having children in subjection with all reverence; (but if a man doesn’t know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the assembly of God?)
Singleness is a gift, not a rank
Paul honors singleness honestly: each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind and another of that kind. The unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord; the married person carries two loves at once, and Scripture calls that good too. Celibacy in the Bible is charism, never credential, a calling some receive, never a class above the rest.
Yet I wish that all men were like me. However each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn.
But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. This I say for your own profit; not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.
But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this saying, but those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.”
Both received with thanksgiving
Marriage is honorable in every respect, the bed undefiled, and Proverbs promises favor from the LORD to the man who finds a wife. So the church holds both callings open before its people: marry if you burn and it is good; remain single if gifted and it is devoted. What Scripture forbids is not singleness but the requirement of it.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh.
But if any man thinks that he is behaving inappropriately toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of her age, and if need so requires, let him do what he desires. He doesn’t sin. Let them marry. But he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own heart, to keep his own virgin, does well. So then both he who gives his own virgin in marriage does well, and he who doesn’t give her in marriage does better.
As you read, you may wonder…
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Verses to meditate on
forbidding marriage and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.
Have we no right to take along a wife who is a believer, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?
This I say for your own profit; not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
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