Does God require His servants to stay unmarried?
No. Scripture counts forbidding marriage a mark of departure from the faith, calls marriage honorable in every station, and treats married ministry as normal, with singleness a gift some receive for undivided devotion. Neither state is required, neither ranks above the other, and both are received with thanksgiving.
This question arose from studying What kind of authority did Jesus give church leaders? and What does a church need from its leaders?.
Begin by reading
Go into the Word
Not a summary of these passages: the passages themselves. Read them, then come back to the study below.
The study
What the Scripture says
A rule Scripture calls demonic
Paul warns that in later times some will fall away, giving heed to deceiving spirits, 'forbidding marriage,' among other ascetic inventions, and he adds God's verdict: everything created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving. Whatever else celibacy rules are, Scripture labels mandatory abstinence from marriage a doctrine contrary to the faith once delivered.
But the Spirit says expressly that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to seducing spirits and doctrines of demons, through the hypocrisy of men who speak lies, branded in their own conscience as with a hot iron; forbidding marriage and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
Yahweh God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him.”And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Married ministry was the norm
Paul assumes the apostles traveled with their wives, 'the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas,' and defends his own freedom to do likewise. Peter, the married fisherman whose mother-in-law Jesus healed, led the early church from a household, and an overseer's fitness was measured partly at home: ruling well his own house first.
Have we no right to take along a wife who is a believer, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?
When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw his wife’s mother lying sick with a fever. He touched her hand, and the fever left her. She got up and served him.And when Jesus was come into Peter’s house, he saw his wife’s mother laid, and sick of a fever. And he touched her hand, and the fever left her: and she arose, and ministered unto them.
one who rules his own house well, having children in subjection with all reverence; (but if a man doesn’t know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the assembly of God?)One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
Singleness is a gift, not a rank
Paul honors singleness honestly: each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind and another of that kind. The unmarried person cares for the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord; the married person carries two loves at once, and Scripture calls that good too. Celibacy in the Bible is charism, never credential, a calling some receive, never a class above the rest.
Yet I wish that all men were like me. However each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn.For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is also a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. This I say for your own profit; not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
But he said to them, “Not all men can receive this saying, but those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake. He who is able to receive it, let him receive it.”But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Both received with thanksgiving
Marriage is honorable in every respect, the bed undefiled, and Proverbs promises favor from the LORD to the man who finds a wife. So the church holds both callings open before its people: marry if you burn and it is good; remain single if gifted and it is devoted. What Scripture forbids is not singleness but the requirement of it.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh.Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
But if any man thinks that he is behaving inappropriately toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of her age, and if need so requires, let him do what he desires. He doesn’t sin. Let them marry. But he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own heart, to keep his own virgin, does well. So then both he who gives his own virgin in marriage does well, and he who doesn’t give her in marriage does better.But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
As you read, you may wonder…
Scripture raises the next question
Studying the Word naturally opens more of it. Follow what you just read: it leads somewhere.
Hold onto these
Verses to meditate on
forbidding marriage and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
Have we no right to take along a wife who is a believer, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord, and Cephas?
This I say for your own profit; not that I may ensnare you, but for that which is appropriate, and that you may attend to the Lord without distraction.And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Worth visiting